I feel obliged to blog but nothing’s really pouring out at the moment. This sucks, naturally, like a lump in your throat that wants to escape but doesn’t have the wings to. Bleah. Will try again soon enough. 
EDIT @ 1.42 am :
Ok a rant. I’m stumped and sian, a lethal combination. I don’t get it, are army boys expected to feel a certain way, to act a certain way and to be treated a certain way or is it the fact that I’m slowly losing touch with who I thought I was as each week in the army ends. Time passes damn fast, one more month and I’d have passed out already. Maybe I’ll be more in touch with the mainland and reality after POP when I don’t have to go back to Tekong, but seriously, I feel so friggin detached from everyone, and I have no one to talk to because it feels weird to randomly msg people even if it doesn’t feel random to you. I don’t know why each time I book out I have an urge to meet up, to talk to, to catch up with as many people as possible, even though i’ll be out again the following week, etc.
It’s disheartening when no one else feels like you’ve just returned from a long absence, except yourself. I’m sure all army dudes can empathize. Frankly I haven’t felt this disenchanted or lost in a very long time. Maybe if I had a car, money and some hair I’ll fair a little better at life.
Anyway I’m going back to Tekong tomorrow evening. I’m supposed to be getting used to this but everything’s ironically getting more and more foreign each time I go back. This sucks. How can I get my life to keep still there once again?
2 Comments
Sunday, February 10, 2008 at 1:22 pm
It’s called alienation. You’ll feel it for a while. Like about 2 years or so. The question is how to cope. Clever people use it to establish who they are, independently of others – it is the last real chance you have to be independent of people who mean something to you. Remember, peer pressure from people who won’t affect you in the long term is nothing compared to peer pressure from your friends and long-term associates and family.
So make use of your time wisely. And know that people still think about you and care for you. But haha, they might feel it’s too much to SMS you about it…
Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm
yeah, we keep sms-ing you, pple think we weird or what.