Six

This has been the longest week of my life. It’s like I’m waiting by the tracks since forever and ever so often a nice old man ambles along, tapping me on the shoulder and going ‘ just 5 more mins till the train comes, son’. He thinks he’s making the wait easier by giving me something to look forward to, but it’s only making me wince.

Marathons are funny things. You wait for them to come like once in a blue moon, get all exciting  talking about them, have butterflies in your stomach the night before you meet them,  wonder what the hell you signed up for as your face scrunches up in pain with each passing minute and when it’s all over can’t wait for the next one to arrive again. Sounds like a couple of girls I’ve known over the years but that’s another story.

So yeah, Six. Phew.  The times they are a ‘changing.

 

Grow Up And Blow Away

Metric is November’s find of the year. They’re like the quirker, electric, less heavy and more visceral cousin of Stars, leaving everyone souls tapping but never letting go of the emotional depth that one normally associates with female fronted bands from Toronto. The Death to Stars’s Dream? I’m sure ya’ll know what I mean right. (yeah, like all one of you.)

Anyway I’m stuck in Limbo right now. Marathon on Dec 6, Yankee 0108 Platoon 4 Reunion on the 12th (lol goodtimez), ORD on the 14th, waiting with bated breath for them ang mohs to tell me that I’m officially a Violet by the 15th, and did I mention ORD on the 14th? Time flies when you’re having fun eh, asgkq21!%!@$!@$~!.

But yes, It won’t be soon before long.

One More Night

You’re running away aren’t you?

I’m not running away. It’ s just… I don’t know. It’s all getting to be too much for me. I feel I’m out of my depth. I’m scared I’m going to do something stupid.

And if you do something stupid, what then?

Aren’t you scared of falling?

It is sometimes a mistake to climb; it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt. If you do not climb you will not fall. This is true. But is it that bad to fail, that hard to fall?

Sometimes you wake, and sometimes, yes you die. But there is a third alternative.

And that is?

Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.

Fragile Thing

It’s amazing what you find at 3:12 in the morning while trying to conjure up the title and synopsis of the movie they make about your life in 2050.

Spectre

I’m the hero of the story
Don’t need to be saved
I’m the hero of the story
Don’t need to be saved
I’m the hero of the story
Don’t need to be saved
I’m the hero of the story
Don’t need to be saved

Love Sick

Once this whole ‘army’ thing is over and done with i’ll get a decent camera, learn photography and basic film making/editing , while juggling driving, gigs and of course sky diving lessons on the side. Got inspired while walkin down Soho in the rain, thinking how great it’d be if I could capture the spirit of a place, or anything for that matter, in a way that’s both evocative and thought provoking.  This heady mix of Dylan and Adriana Lima helped too.

Less than two months, by the way. Corks are to be popped.

Remembrance

This is why I’d rather study lit, if anything at all. Never gonna hear me go ’so I was doing trigo and felt really moved by how everything changes when you look at things from a different angle’, etc etc. Always cool to unearth gems from the good ol’ 1840s too.  And yeah this wouldn’t look outta place on a page in Destiny’s book. Or a postcard from a Wake.

 

Cold in the earth — and the deep snow piled above thee,
Far, far removed, cold in the dreary grave!
Have I forgot, my only Love, to love thee,
Severed at last by Time’s all-severing wave?

 Now, when alone, do my thoughts no longer hover
Over the mountains, on that northern shore,
Resting their wings where heath and fern leaves cover
Thy noble heart forever, ever more?

Cold in the earth — and fifteen wild Decembers,
From those brown hills, have melted into spring;
Faithful, indeed, is the spirit that remembers
After such years of change and suffering!

Sweet Love of youth, forgive, if I forget thee,
While the world’s tide is bearing me along;
Other desires and other hopes beset me,
Hopes which obscure, but cannot do thee wrong!

No later light has lightened up my heaven,
No second morn has ever shone for me;
All my life’s bliss from thy dear life was given,
All my life’s bliss is in the grave with thee.

But, when the days of golden dreams had perished,
And even Despair was powerless to destroy,
Then did I learn how existence could be cherished,
Strengthened, and fed without the aid of joy.

Then did I check the tears of useless passion –
Weaned my young soul from yearning after thine;
Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten
Down to that tomb already more than mine.

And, even yet, I dare not let it languish,
Dare not indulge in memory’s rapturous pain;
Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish,
How could I seek the empty world again?

LTYH

Roxette speaks the truth with striking descending pentatonics.  And in other news I just got promoted today.  It felt good I guess, but hollow at the same time? A resounding ‘awesome. that’s cool. no, really. but erm.’  And sometimes you wonder if the fight is worthwhile. The precious moments are all lost in the tide. They’re swept away and nothing is what it seems – the feeling of belonging, to your dreams.

I don’t know where I’m going.  And I don’t know why. Guitar Solo.

 

Manifesto

I am a Man.

I will laugh. I will cry. I will turn a 5km run into a 15k one with one right turn. And I won’t look back. I will fly to New York on a whim, burn all my leave and find myself in the process. I will play air guitar to wailing solos and not be ashamed. I will regard graphic novels as the highest form of literature. I will regard the Sandman as more than that.  I will become a Guitar Hero God. And I will have to pull my heart away.

Also. U2 is timeless. Special. As are we.

 

White Wedding

I know it’s coming.  I can smell it like how you can smell a cologne overdose on a man walking by. Some day, sooner than later someone who ain’t an older cousin, elder sibling, distant relative or a friend of a friend of a chum of a pal’s gonna come up to me all smiles and go ‘dude we’re getting marrieeed.’

My first reaction will be ‘er what, seriously’, and seeing their faces fall, ’sweet er congrats’.

And if you hear me going on about how old we all are these days, how things will never be the same again and how friggin weird it’ll be to see your friends walk down the aisle knowing that there’s a chapter in their lives that’s about to be written and there’s not enough ink for you..

well remember that I said it here first.